Forgiveness

Happy Monday!  My current read is the Total Forgiveness Experience by R.T Kendall.

Last year it felt like I lost so many friends, but after much prayer and fasting God revealed the “WHY”. Often times we think and point the finger at everyone else, but the fact of the matter it’s us. I know it hurts to hear that.  I can admit that I  had undeveloped areas in my  life that cause me to fail in relationships time after time.

I can honestly say I have  100% made the area my #1 priority to change.

We can’t help and heal the world if we are broken ourselves.

Take the opportunity to unplug for everything and fix the undeveloped areas of your life!

What happens when we don’t forgive?

  • Prideful
  • Angry
  • Resentful
  • Bitter
  • Vengeful
  • Hostile
  • Judgmental
  • Lonely
  • Fearful
  • Joyless
  • Defensive
  • Exhausted
  • Blaming
  • Irrational
  • Violent
  • Manipulative

 

Can you identify with any of these emotions?

I had a situation with a friendship where I was falsely accused of something. I couldn’t believe that person could lie on me for no apparent reason. What did I do to deserve this situation. My character was under attack and I was so hurt that it nearly broke me down. Not because I was guilty, but it was because the person who did it was a person who I personally gave value and weight in my life. It took everything in me not to lose my cool and want to revert to sinful ways. But because I know God and know that I did nothing intentionally wrong to that person, I decided to let God fight for me. He created in me a heart for people and often times I has been hurt because I allowed people to come into my life before checking them out first. Being nice is one thing but being someone’s doormat is not the will of God.

What to do next?

Invite God into the situation. He personally knows both parties.

Ask God to forgive you ,if there was any part that you contributed to the situation. Sometimes shutting down is a sin because it insulates and causes a divide in that relationship. Space is important ,but only for a season to collect your thoughts and comfort  the issue ( in love) for change. Insulation can ruin a covenant relationship especially  in a marriage. Be careful not to get missing and stop communicating.

Secondly, pray for them to see their part in the situation. The heart of the King is in the hand of the Lord. So don’t be afraid to ask for God’s help in the matter. Total forgiveness about you and it’s a process that should not be taken for granted.

Lastly, try not to share the situation with a weak or emotional undeveloped person. Please don’t go to that kind of person, because it won’t end well. I have been there and I tried to find comfort in the situation but after sharing my intimate feelings with an undeveloped person and they told me ” I would curse them out, Don’t let them get away with that, get even, don’t be stupid” Lord knows that didn’t make me feel any better. So every time I thought about releasing it, I felt “stupid” for letting it happen to me. But I promise you that I am Not stupid and as the bible states

I am with you and I will never leave you or forsake you, I am with you until the ends of the earth.

So If God is with me That’s all that we NEED..

 

Forgive and live in victory!

 

In my latest Book 30 Day 30 Minutes Visionary Journal: Developing the Finisher Within I discuss how unforgiveness can hinder you from finishing your goals because unforgiveness steals your focus.  This book is your step by guide to living life in freedom and abundance.

Order your copy today of this life changing book.

Committed To The Reality

I have been married for 10 years now. Sometimes I wake up and think wow we are still together. lol.. Through all the obstacles and outside influences we have managed to maintain our love for one another. Inside your 4 wall is heaven on earth, however when you add the outside elements to a relationship, things can change. Things can change by simply walking to the mailbox. Things can change by receiving the wrong phone call.

My husband and I have made a pact not to let anything or anyone in the middle of us. I have had to cut off some folks and everything. Marrying the reality does not mean “settle for less” but it means to take the pressure off and give your spouse time to grow without judgment. Most of the time they know when they are wrong.. most of the time lol. I love how my husband has evolved into a very patience husband. Married to the reality means that the “Hollywood” version of marriage is not your point of reference but learning from our grandparents generation of true love and commitment. Which to them meant to death do us part.

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Marrying the reality does not mean “settle for less” but it means to take the pressure off and give your spouse time to grow without judgment.

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Have I been in situations to leave my husband? Absolutely I have, but I have hand selected folks in my life I seek advice and guidance from. I remember calling one of them saying ” I’m leaving Marty today” she said “ok… can you sleep on it and call me back in a few days?” I told her “sure”. 3 days later she called and I was like “girl I love that man!” lol so sometimes you have to talk to someone who has your best interest. I’m committed to the reality that I may not have what I want when I want it. And you know what? it’s ok.. it doesn’t mean he loves me less, it simply means I can’t have it right now. God is my provider not my husband. God is my source of happiness not my husband. So why put unnecessary pressure on your spouse? So I pray and ask God and in time I’ll have it. I am committed for life so therefore I am in no rush!

Kellie Thompson